She was not wearing a bra. That night I masturbated thinking of her under me naked, writhing in sexual pleasure. A few days later, on a Thursday, I got a shock of my life. That Thursday night Ratna was chatting with me. I casually asked her, ‘So, what are your plans, when do you plan to get married.’ Ratna looked at me for a long time then replied, ‘Do you remember the summer you all came here after your higher secondary exams? I had just been discharged from hospital one day prior to your arrival.’ I replied, ‘Yes, I remember.’ That time your mother was very distraught and I remember my mother trying to console her.’ Ratna nodded her head and continued saying, ‘I was 15 yrs old then. My mother was worried because my menstruation did not start. So ultimately my parents took me to a doctor and for different tests I was hospitalised.’ I was baffled, why is she telling me all these. I kept quiet. Ratna after a brief silence said, ‘Later, after consulting different doctors and. She felt so alone. Ned had sent a telegram more than a week ago to let her know he would be back for two days leave, but since then, she had heard nothing. She knew he was as excited as she about the baby, so unless his battalion had had last minute orders, then he should have arrived by now. The nagging sense that something was wrong had been in the back of her mind for days. Another pain gripped her in a vice as it consumed her. Hands prised her legs apart and she was vaguely aware of her mother’s presence. It felt like her whole body was being torn apart. Surely the baby was coming now. It had to be. She didn’t think she could endure any more of this agony. * * * When she came around, her mother was watching her, cradling a baby in her arms while the maid scurried around and collected the bloody sheets. Eloise stared at the baby – Ned’s baby – with a sense of disbelief. ‘Is Ned here?’ she asked hopefully. Then she saw the expression on her mother’s face and a nameless fear.
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